UPDATE: She ended up dumping me because of my reaction and failing to properly support her. While I (30m) was away on business, my fiancée (32 f) decided to go out without telling me.
We spoke in the afternoon, I was on my way to the airport ahead of an 8 hour flight, which was arriving at 5 am. Her friend had just come back from out of state and she was planning on taking her out to dinner. Once I landed I didn’t want to wake her as she normally gets up around 7. I got home and she wasn’t there. Her car was parked outside but she wasn’t in bed. For a moment I panicked and thought she had gone to surprise me at the airport and I somehow missed her. But her car was outside? I call her and her phone rang to voicemail. I call 10 more times while I shower and change. At first I wasn’t too worried thinking maybe she went for a run, but the scenarios running through my head were getting darker.
We have our phones on our icloud account in case we lose them, so I bring it up to find her location. Her iPhone was at the hospital. My heart sank. I start heading to the hospital. All her family live out of state so there’s no one to call. The hospital is 10 minutes away, I speed, run red lights, park right in front of the emergency department door and go in like a maniac demanding the triage staff tell me where my wife is. They take me to her room.
She’s asleep in bed but I can immediately see she’s hurt. Her lip is swollen and she looks like she’s been beaten up. Bruises on her face, splint thing on her nose. My panic and worry morph into rage and I demand to know what happened and who did this to her. I was informed that she arrived in an ambulance at 2am, having drunkenly stumbled and faceplanted onto the curb while leaving a bar. She had a broken nose, chipped tooth, and other minor abrasions and scratches but she was going to be fine.
This made absolutely no sense. I seriously feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I don’t drink, never have, and she hasn’t touched alcohol since college basically. I don’t even know what’s happening at this point. She’s tried to offer up some kind of explanation about how her friend [Friend’s Name] pressured her to have wine while they were at dinner, and then they somehow ended up in a bar (she apparently has no recollection and “teleported” there). She kept mumbling about [Friend’s Name] being in a bad place, and needing her, and things getting out of control. This made absolutely no sense to me at the time, as her friend [Friend’s Name] was known for being perfectly in control always. I just thought it was drunken excuses.
I’ve been giving her the silent treatment and it’s 8pm. She has been crying and wanting some sort of consolement or reassurance, but I genuinely think I’m done. This whole thing just came out of left field, and I’m not handling it well at all.
We’ve been living together since we got engaged and it would be a pretty clean split. Her parents own the house so I can basically just take my stuff and go, I guess? I really don’t know what to do, we’ve been together a year and a half, and I feel like we could get past this, but it’s like this whole ordeal and the emotional rollercoaster have sapped away the love I felt for her. Anyways, sorry for the novel, but WIBTA if I dump her?
UPDATE: She ended up dumping me because of my reaction and failing to properly support her. Maybe her tears and desire for consolment weren’t just about her broken nose and my silent treatment. Maybe she was trying to deal with the shock from [Friend’s Name]’s crisis that night, and my lack of support was hitting her at a time she was already emotionally overwhelmed from everything that happened, not just her own injury.
FURTHER UPDATE (The unexpected twist): A week after she moved out, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was [Friend’s Name]. She sounded tired and cut right to the chase, “I know you guys broke up because of that night. I need you to know… I didn’t mean for any of that to happen to her. [Your ex-fiancée’s name] saved my life that night. My ex-husband [Ex-husband’s name] found me at the bar, he’s been stalking me since the divorce. He was drunk and turning violent. [Your ex-fiancée’s name] was trying to get me out, and he pushed both of us. She went down on the curb. She took the full force of the fall instead of me. She told me to tell everyone it was just her being drunk and falling, to avoid more trouble with [Ex-husband’s name]. I didn’t know how badly she was hurt until she got home.” Hearing that made my stomach clench. She wasn’t drunk. She didn’t stumble. She was pushed by a violent man while trying to protect her friend. And she endured the fall, and then my silence and suspicion, all to protect her friend.