Just an hour before my sister-in-law’s wedding, I went into labor. My mother-in-law took my phone and locked me in the bathroom, saying to hold off for a while so that I didn’t steal my sister-in-law’s spotlight and ruin her special day. A few hours later, I woke up in the hospital, and my mother-in-law was begging me not to press charges. But oh boy, her face went pale when hubby announced this.
The Unexpected Arrival and a Mother-in-Law’s Antics
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My husband, **Richard “Rick” (male, 30)**, and I **(female, 29)** had been blessed with a daughter two weeks ago. This is our first child, and we are obviously very excited. Things have been very busy on our end, and we are just adjusting to being parents. It’s a hard shift for both of us, but we’re trying our best. We don’t really have much help because of what happened on the day our daughter, **May**, was born. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, and I don’t think I can ever forget it. Even the happiness of May’s arrival is not enough to help me shake the paralyzing fear I felt that day. I think I would have died if not for my husband’s timely help. But despite the horrible event, I still feel that since it involved family, we should be a little softer with them because May is the first child in the family. But I am unsure, and my judgment is clouded with all these hormones and baby duties, which is why I’ve come to Reddit for help. This story might be long and has a lot of characters, so please bear with me.
Family Dynamics
Rick has two sisters, **Anna (28)** and **Emma (24)**, and both of them are younger than him. I have a very good relationship with both of them, and I think there is no animosity between us. We aren’t very close since all of us are busy in our careers and don’t meet that often. Emma doesn’t even live in the same city as us, but we try to catch up once in a while and stay connected via texts or calls.
Another important person in Rick’s family and in this story is my **mother-in-law (female, 53)**. While I am on good terms with Anna and Emma, Rachel is a different story altogether. We don’t exactly see eye to eye, and I honestly think she has a problem with not just me but with everyone. She’s the biggest control freak you can imagine, and she just doesn’t stop. She wants everything to go according to her whims and fancies. Her kids, all three of them, respect her wishes for the most part because she was the one who raised them after their dad abandoned them, so they try to make life easier for her and themselves. Moreover, if anyone dares to want something other than what she wants, she reacts, and the reaction can range from disapproval and moping to a full-blown meltdown with tears and tantrums. It’s difficult to deal with her, so I try to stay away as much as possible. Rick understands this; he knows his mother is problematic, so he lets me keep my distance and deal with her as I see fit. On my end, I might understand how he feels about her even despite her controlling nature, so I let it be. She doesn’t like me much, so she doesn’t meddle in my life, and that suits us all. However, things got out of control a few days ago, and it was all because of her.
The Wedding and My Pregnancy
Now, I don’t think anyone can ever forgive her. On the day May was born, Anna was getting married. It was a lovely ceremony, and her husband, **Jonah (male, 30)**, is actually Rick’s friend. He proposed to her around a year ago, and Anna had asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I had accepted. However, when Rick and I found out I was pregnant, I had to request her to ask someone else because I knew I wouldn’t be able to manage it. This was almost six months after the proposal, so only six months before the wedding. I was three months pregnant by then.
I had assumed I would get backlash from her for backing out halfway, but I knew I had to prioritize. I was extremely nervous and jittery before telling her. I feared our relationship would be strained forever. But to my relief and surprise, none of that happened. Anna was overjoyed when I told her. She actually forgot about her wedding for a while. When I told her I wouldn’t be available for duties, her response was, “Obviously, I’ll be taking care of you.” She even considered shifting the wedding because she didn’t want me to miss it, which I would have, had May been born then. That ultimately didn’t happen for a lot of reasons, and honestly, she shouldn’t have done it anyway. It was a close call in the end, but she supported me throughout. Emma became the maid of honor, and I knew the two sisters were busy preparing for the wedding, so I didn’t bother them much during the pregnancy, which was harrowing for me. Still, both stayed in touch as much as possible and came over and supported me a lot. I feel a little guilty for not supporting Anna on the most important day of her life, yet she supported me the whole time.
The only person who was a little pissy about the whole thing was my mother-in-law. I think she was annoyed I couldn’t be the maid of honor anymore, which caused some disruption in the wedding preparations. That seemed like the only logical explanation, and I got where she was coming from. But the hostility, for lack of a better word, continued even after Anna was okay with the pregnancy and my not being maid of honor. The bride wasn’t mad in the slightest, but Rachel somehow started antagonizing me from that point on. It was weird, but I thought maybe I was on edge because of the hormones, and she was on edge because of the wedding, and all this was just creating false narratives in my head. I ignored her as best as I could, and things were mostly fine.
The Incident
Things got out of control, literally and figuratively, during the wedding. It was two weeks ago, and I was pregnant out of my mind. My feet were swollen, my belly was huge, and I felt like I would pass out, but I still wanted to attend the wedding because Anna wanted me there. I had asked her beforehand if she wanted me there because I wanted it to be her day. I told her the presence of a heavily pregnant woman might take the attention away from her, and I didn’t want that. Wedding days are for the bride and groom, and I would hate to be the one to take away from that. When I told Anna this, she was actually offended and hurt. She said she couldn’t believe I’d fill my head with this useless crap and not attend her wedding. She said she didn’t care about attention or limelight; all she wanted was her family there to support her on her wedding day. She said I had to come and not worry about drama. I knew she meant it. She’s not the type to mince words; if she hadn’t wanted me there, she would have been upfront about it. But she did, and she said so emphatically, and I believed it was my duty to be there for her. So even though I was physically uncomfortable, I knew I had to be there for her on her wedding day. I’m not going to lie, there were a lot of people murmuring, but I did my best to ignore them because I knew Anna was happy I was there. That’s all that mattered to me in that moment. Rachel didn’t interact with me much, and she glared at me the entire time, but I was too uncomfortable to notice. I didn’t have the energy to deal with her or make sense of her passive-aggressive behavior towards me, so I just let her be. She could glare all she wanted; I wasn’t going to react to her.
Then came the main incident that left not just me but everyone around me shocked and scared to the core. I started feeling uneasy just before the ceremony was about to begin. By then, I had already met Anna. I got up and went upstairs, thinking it would help me feel better, and I’d return once I did. Little did I notice that Rachel had followed me. I was feeling sweaty and weird, so I went to the bathroom. When suddenly my water broke. It was a genuine flood, and I started panicking because even though I love my daughter more than anyone, she had chosen the worst possible time to arrive. I couldn’t think straight, and thankfully, I saw my mother-in-law in front of me. By that point, I was crouching in pain. She rushed to me, and I told her to take my phone and call Rick immediately because we needed to get to the hospital. She helped me up and made me sit in the bathroom, and I gave her my phone. That’s when she flipped. She said she’d make sure Rick came in an hour once the ceremony was over because she didn’t want me to steal Anna’s spotlight. I asked her if she was crazy and said there was no way I could handle this for an hour. I tried snatching my phone from her, but she locked me inside and took my phone with her. So there I was, pregnant with my child literally on the way, in a bathroom, sitting on a toilet with no phone and no husband. I don’t know how I didn’t have a full-blown panic attack, and thank God I didn’t, because I don’t know what would have happened otherwise. I got up and gradually made my way to the door and started banging on it. I screamed and screamed, but since the washrooms were on the first floor and everyone was seated for the wedding by then, no one heard me. I screamed until my voice was gone, but no one came. That’s when I genuinely felt I was going to die and take my baby with me. I was exhausted, drenched, sweating like a pig, and had no voice left. That’s the last thing I remember. I don’t know what happened after I had passed out from exhaustion. I don’t even remember how I got to the hospital. I just know I did.
The Hospital and Rick’s Response
I woke up a few hours later, and I was in the hospital with Rick by my side, sobbing. It took me a few moments to realize where I was and make sense of everything. When I saw Rick crying, I assumed the worst. Everything came flooding back: mother-in-law locking me in the bathroom, my crying, and I thought May didn’t make it. When Rick saw I was awake, he heaved a sigh of relief and started crying in my arms. I didn’t know what to make of it and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Then I saw the nurse come in with a baby girl, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I honestly wanted to slap Rick for messing with me like that, but he said he wasn’t messing with me; he was just relieved I was okay because I was unconscious when he found me in the bathroom. I held my daughter for the first time, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that feeling or that any better emotion than that exists in life. I just don’t think anything will ever top what I felt in those moments. Rick didn’t give me any details at that point, and I’m grateful for that because I didn’t have the energy to deal with it.
I could faintly hear some commotion outside, and I asked him what was up. He said mother-in-law was outside and wanted to come in and see her granddaughter. I told him what had happened in detail. I told him what she had done, how she had endangered our daughter for no reason. I also told him there was no way I was allowing her near my daughter, ever. To me, she was dead. He said he knew everything; when he discovered me in that state, she broke down and told him everything. I told him that just because she broke down doesn’t mean I was going to forgive her. He laughed and said his mother was dead to him from this point on and that he was going to press charges for life endangerment. He said he would go the legal route and make sure she was punished for what she had done. When I heard him say that, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I know he loves his mother, all three of them do, but after the stunt she pulled, which could have cost me and my daughter our lives, I was in no mood to forgive her. If Rick had chosen her over me, our marriage would have been over. There would be no coming back from that, and somewhere deep down, I anticipated that he might choose his mother because despite everything she had worked very hard to raise them. Maybe I wasn’t expecting him to stand up for me the way he did, but I’m not complaining at all; if anything, it has made me love him more, if that’s even possible.
Anna and Emma’s Support
I asked him how the wedding went, and he said it went fine. Emma and Anna were waiting for him to call so they could visit us. I asked if Anna was mad, and he laughed, saying I didn’t have to worry about Anna at all. She’s been beaming with pride and joy, claiming that her complete family was at the wedding and that May’s birth was the best gift she could have received. I had tears in my eyes when he told me that, and I told him to call them immediately. Within a few minutes, Anna, Emma, and Jonah were at the hospital with me. The best part: Anna and Jonah were still in their wedding clothes, and Anna said there was no way she was going to pass up the chance to take a wedding picture with her niece. I started bawling full-on, and it was such a heartwarming moment. After the picture, I apologized to Anna for ruining her day. She hugged me and said I was looking at it all wrong: I had made her day. I told her about mother-in-law’s behavior ever since we announced the pregnancy, and Anna said the only thing I did wrong was not telling them sooner. Maybe they could have put a stop to her drama. I told her I didn’t want to cause trouble, and Emma chimed in, saying any amount of trouble was fine as long as I was safe. I have tears in my eyes even typing this because that’s when I knew they loved me like family. I wasn’t just Rick’s wife to them; I was family. Anna is one of the best women I know; she’s so secure, so happy, no wonder she is where she is today. I really don’t know how Rachel is so different from her children. It’s like they saw her and realized that’s not what they wanted to become. It’s weird, but I don’t care; it was beautiful.
Mother-in-law was still outside apparently, and Anna had told her on her way in that she would make sure Rick and I pressed charges. Mother-in-law wanted to come in and meet May, but I didn’t want her anywhere near me. Anna said we needed to keep ourselves safe from her. Anna apologized to me, feeling she hadn’t addressed her mother’s overprotective instincts or made it clear enough that she had no problem with my pregnancy. She said that if she had, maybe the incident could have been avoided. I told her she had made me feel safe, and there was no way she was at fault. All the while, Rick was outside talking to mother-in-law.
The Aftermath and Decision
When I was discharged and came home with May two or three days later, Rick told me what he and mother-in-law had talked about. He said he had informed her he would be pressing charges and that she could “eat it” because nothing would change that. He also told her she was never allowed in May’s life. She was not her grandmother in any capacity. She chose to put my life and my unborn child’s life in danger over an assumed slight that didn’t even concern her. He also said all the money he had been giving her (mother-in-law was living off of Rick’s and Emma’s money) would be substantially reduced, and that’s when she started crying, saying she had slaved away her whole life for the kids and didn’t deserve this. Rick told her that while he knew and appreciated all she had done for them, that didn’t mean she had control over their lives. He said she was in the wrong and he had been ignoring or making excuses for everything she did for years, but not anymore. When it came to May and me, she needed to know she had crossed a huge boundary and proven she was not safe to be around, especially since Anna never had a problem. Rachel said that as a mom, she understood that Anna hadn’t wanted me there to steal the spotlight, but Anna overheard and tore into her. So we are proceeding with the case, that’s for sure, but Rick will handle it because I have a newborn to care for and can’t be bothered with this drama. Rick said he would handle it. None of the siblings are willing to talk to her anymore. Anna has completely cut her off, and Emma only talks to her when necessary, and Rick and I are obviously no contact. I don’t think mother-in-law anticipated this, and maybe she genuinely meant to protect Anna, however twisted it sounds. I’m not defending her, not in the least, but I still feel bad for her because it all backfired so horribly. Now a part of me wonders if they should talk it out with her because it feels wrong and bad to me. I don’t know, maybe I’m not thinking straight. I know if I mention this to Rick, he’ll fly off the handle; he’s furious with her and can’t even look at her right now. I hadn’t anticipated this, but here we are.
Update One: Unhinged Behavior Confirmed
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Well, any reconciliation is off the table forever. I know I haven’t updated in a long time, but well, I’m a new mom, so between keeping myself and my kid alive, I’ve been busy. The good thing is that May turns eight weeks old in a couple of days, and we’re all super excited. Anna and Jonah had been real sweethearts, helping Rick and me a lot. Emma had to go back to work but calls almost every day. May is literally the light of everyone’s eyes; they dote on her, and the group chat is full of her pictures. There’s been no contact with mother-in-law. I convinced Rick not to press charges because we have too much on our plate, and it wouldn’t serve any purpose. Rick was reluctant, but he agreed because neither of us has the energy for anything else.
When we told mother-in-law last week, she appeared thankful. I say “appeared” because that woman is genuinely unhinged, and she showed everyone her true colors last week. Last week, Rick and I woke up at around 1:00 a.m. to loud banging on the door. I thought it was a robbery, and I ran and hid with May while Rick went to open the door. I could hear shouting, but I didn’t dare come out because I didn’t want May to wake up. It turns out it was mother-in-law, and Rick said she was behaving like a crazy person. She kept screaming that she wanted to see May and that we couldn’t keep her away. Rick said he had to threaten her with the police before she backed off. She was trying to force her way in. We immediately alerted Anna and Emma because if something was wrong with her, everyone needed to know. We were concerned, but honestly, it was for nothing.
The next day she sent us a disturbing text. She started off saying we were being nasty and horrid to her by not allowing her to see May, and we were punishing her because her only crime was being a mother. There was some more melodramatic nonsense in there, and gradually her text became more unhinged. She said she had the burden of raising three kids and always had to juggle one kid’s priorities over another, and that’s what she felt she had to do on May’s birthday. She didn’t want May to take away from Anna’s day. She conveniently forgot that May was literally a fetus, and Anna herself had said multiple times that she had no issue with the pregnancy and the wedding happening at the same time. I still understood this part. What rattled me was what she said next: she said she was worried that with May in our lives, she wouldn’t be as important to her kids anymore. When I announced my pregnancy, she thought Anna would be mad because that’s what a normal woman would feel, but when she saw we were all excited about both the pregnancy and the wedding, she didn’t like it. Basically, she was saying that she didn’t like that we were all happy together with each other and for each other. She wanted us to be jealous and competitive. She said that when she realized the due date would be near the wedding, she hoped Anna would be mad at us and maybe that May wouldn’t take everyone’s attention, but that didn’t happen, and all everyone could talk about was May. She said she felt disrespected that a baby who wasn’t even born had taken her place as the uniting factor for the siblings. She said more things and was still typing when I asked Rick to block her. I told him she was deranged and unsafe for me and all of us. I’ve had a constant headache since seeing those messages. I can’t believe a woman over 50 is in competition with a seven-week-old baby. It doesn’t make sense to me, and it doesn’t have to, because I’m done with her. I’m done making excuses for her behavior and trying to understand her motivations. She can go to hell for all I care. We forwarded the messages to Anna and Emma, and they are disturbed too. They think she might be having a manic episode, and Emma said she will fly down to get mother-in-law checked at a facility. I think it’s a good idea, but I’m staying out of it. This behavior is crazy, and I don’t want anything to do with her anymore.
Update Two: Restraining Order and No Contact
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We have a restraining order against mother-in-law. She didn’t try anything again, but we’re being cautious. Emma got her test done and spoke to both a psychologist and psychiatrist. Everything is fine with mother-in-law; she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, but that was it. The doctor said there was no underlying medical reason for her behavior and suggested Emma take her to therapy. Emma has since gone no contact. She said she was willing to help if something was wrong, but hatefulness is who mother-in-law is, and she can’t tolerate her anymore. I totally get that and share the view. She might have had my sympathy and support in a few months if she had a psychiatric issue, but now that’s been ruled out, we know this is who she is. There’s no reconciling with that.
This is why we took a restraining order for Rick and me. May’s safety is of utmost importance, and mother-in-law has proven twice she’s not safe. Moreover, she has ill will towards May specifically, so we have to be even more careful they don’t come into contact. I think this will be my last update, and I hope I never have anything more to share about this entire episode.