My soon to be ex husband (47), Roger, whom I forgave for his affair, came home with a baby four months ago. His girlfriend (22) could not handle it anymore and brought the baby to him at work and left. To the best of his knowledge she is in Spain.
I allowed him to stay so long as I didn’t have to do anything. Anything.
Well about a month ago Roger had a heart attack. It didn’t kill him, mores the pity, but he is very weak and incapable of doing anything for himself. Since he isn’t up and about he cannot care for his child. He also cannot drop of and pick up his son at daycare.
I have been helping but I’m done. My kids are full grown. I shouldn’t be having grandkids any time soon. I do not have any desire to care for a baby.
I told Roger that I want a divorce, and I contacted the mother’s parents. I know the father through friends. I said they had until Friday to come get their grandchild or I was calling Child Protective Services.
They just left with the baby. But they scolded me for being so cold towards a baby that had done me no harm. I view that child differently. Maybe because seeing Roger, at his age, easily have a baby with a woman so young, after we struggled so much to have more children later in our marriage, feels like a cruel joke. My kids are full grown. I do not have any desire to care for a baby. Not this baby. The symbol of what we couldn’t have, easily acquired through betrayal.
Roger is recovering and I will be moving out. The house is in his name but I have never contributed to it. I have the equivalent of twenty two years of rent and interest put away. And as per our prenup my savings are my own.
I work and I don’t need anything out of this marriage except myself.
My kids tried telling me to stay and help their father. I said that they were welcome to come over and help him with cleaning himself and the baby. Both declined what I felt was a fair offer.
I do not feel that I am acting badly however Roger, our children, his child’s family, and a few mutual friends think I am. Perhaps writing this out and seeing the responses will give me clarity.