My son (he’s 8) has cerebral palsy. One thing we taught him is never to look down on himself. While we recognize he has limitations, and we make accommodations for him, we make sure he knows he’s not defined by his disability and that his disability doesn’t make him lesser than anyone else. As he grows older, we try to teach him to be more independent, as much as someone his age should be.

He is 8 years old now. He’s a smart kid and usually gets the highest grades in his class. He is liked by all his teachers and classmates and has more friends than I ever had. I’m so proud of him. He is well-behaved both at home and at school.

But lately, he has started acting strange. I think it all started around 1.5 weeks ago. He started avoiding all his responsibilities. He used to make his own bed with our help, but now he’s refusing to do so. He stopped picking up his plates after dinner and started leaving his stuff around. I’m afraid he might also stop doing his homework because for the last two nights, he didn’t want to do it.

Whenever I confront him, he straight up says, “I can’t, I’m disabled, I have Cerebral Palsy.” One time he even said, “I can’t, I’m an R-word,” and laughed. I was shocked. I told him not to use that word. I asked him if anyone told him that, and he said no. I told my wife, and we contacted his teachers, but he hasn’t told them anything either and he’s behaving well in school.

Last night, he didn’t pick up his plate after dinner again. I sat him down and told him to pick up his plate, and he screamed at me. He then again said he can’t because he’s disabled and useless.

My wife immediately started to comfort him with “no, you are not.” I was frustrated with him acting out. This time, I decided to be more direct and strict. I scolded him, saying that he’s only useless if he acts like he is. Then I said, “Now stop using your disability as an excuse and pick up your plate.” His eyes teared up, and my wife took him to his room. She thinks I’m an AH for scolding him and raising my voice at him. I didn’t even notice I raised my voice, but that’s what she says. AITA?

I should add that he has a rather mild case of Cerebral Palsy. He’s not wheelchair-bound, though he needs crutches.