So, this might be a wild one, but here goes.
I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend Matt (28M) for two years. Everything was fine until a few weeks ago when I noticed he’d become super secretive with his phone. Before, he used to leave it out on the table, but recently he’s been taking it everywhere—like even to the bathroom, which seemed odd.
One night, while we were watching a movie, his phone lit up, and I saw a text from “Kelly,” a name I’d never heard him mention. It wasn’t like a “Hey, how’s it going?” message—it was a heart emoji followed by “Can’t wait for tomorrow night.” My stomach dropped, but I kept my cool and didn’t confront him. Instead, I decided to investigate.
I didn’t have his phone password, but I remembered that Matt had synced his texts to his laptop, which he kept in his office. When he went to bed, I snuck in and opened the laptop. Sure enough, there was a whole conversation with Kelly. Turns out, they’d been going out for a couple of months, and she had NO IDEA he had a girlfriend. He was stringing her along, telling her he was single and even planning a weekend getaway with her soon.
I felt disgusted and hurt, but instead of confronting him immediately, I decided to take a different approach. Matt’s birthday was coming up, and he’d invited a bunch of his friends to celebrate. They’re all super tight, and I’ve become close to a few of them over the years. I couldn’t believe Matt would do this to me, so I figured the best revenge would be exposing him to everyone.
I didn’t want to just air things out in the heat of the moment, so I waited until the party. After we’d all had a few drinks, I gathered everyone for a “birthday toast.” I pulled up my phone and projected it to the TV in his living room. Everyone thought I was about to share a cute photo montage or something. Nope.
Instead, I started scrolling through the messages between Matt and Kelly, reading them out loud. The room went DEAD silent. Matt turned pale, then furious, but I kept going. I finished by saying, “And that’s why this piece of trash isn’t worth anyone’s time, including mine. Happy birthday, Matt.”
His friends were in shock. Some of the girls immediately came over and hugged me, while the guys were stunned. Matt, on the other hand, stormed out, furious that I “ruined his night.”
The Unexpected Twist: As I read the messages aloud, I focused on Matt’s deception and their plans. But when I reread them later, and as some of our mutual friends, who also knew Kelly, talked to me, a different picture emerged. The messages weren’t just flirtatious banter and getaway plans. There were parts where Kelly talked about having just lost her job, about being worried about rent, about feeling lonely and adrift after something happened in her life. Matt had painted himself as a supportive listener, a ‘new friend’ who had come along at the right time. My projecting those messages onto the TV didn’t just expose Matt; it also inadvertently exposed Kelly’s personal struggles, vulnerabilities, and perhaps desperation to a room full of complete strangers.
Now, here’s the thing: I feel kinda guilty. Some of his friends have told me I was savage and should’ve confronted him privately, while others said he deserved it for cheating. But part of me wonders if I went too far.
AITA for publicly exposing my cheating boyfriend by projecting and reading his affair messages at his birthday party, which humiliated him and caused a scene, especially since my action also inadvertently exposed personal, vulnerable details about the other woman he was deceiving to a group of strangers?