That’s the exact question my friend asked me before diving into this wild story. I’m sharing it here to get the community’s perspective and, hopefully, provide her with some much-needed support because, honestly, she’s completely shattered right now. (Of course, I asked for her permission before posting.)
I’ll try to be as objective as possible and give you all the important details. Buckle up and grab some snacks—this is a long one.
Let’s call my friend Emily (30F), and her now ex-boyfriend, Blake (37M). They had been together for about a year, though there was a brief break in their relationship.
For context, Emily immigrated to Canada about three years ago because of the war in our home country. Blake is also an immigrant, but his family moved here when he was a teenager.
Where It All Started
Everything was great… until Emily met his mom, Sarah (65F).
Blake had been living with his mom his entire life until he moved in with Emily. And, conveniently, they ended up renting an apartment in the same building as Sarah—supposedly because it was cheaper and “not too far” from her.
At first, Sarah was super helpful, constantly offering Emily support and guidance as she adjusted to her new life. But soon, her “helpfulness” became way too much.
Finding a good job as a new immigrant is tough. Emily had plenty of experience back home, but in Canada, she needed time to improve her English and prepare for interviews while doing part-time gigs. Sarah kept insisting she could help Emily find a job—even offering to drive her to interviews. But the jobs she suggested? Low-paying, physically exhausting ones, not even close to Emily’s field.
Emily politely declined and explained that she was aiming for something better. Sarah didn’t take it well and continued to push. Then came the unsolicited relationship advice:
How Emily should talk to Blake.
What she shouldn’t say to him.
What foods he won’t eat (despite the fact that he loved Emily’s cooking).
There was no logical reason for Sarah to be this involved, but it was getting uncomfortable.
One day, after yet another job offer push, Emily told Sarah she’d think about it, but later that evening, she sent a very polite text thanking Sarah for her support but saying she preferred to handle job searching on her own.
Sarah’s response? A passive-aggressive “Well, Emily, I thought better of you.”
After that, Sarah backed off. And the good news? Emily actually did land her dream job!
The Birthday From Hell
Fast forward to a few days ago—it was Blake’s birthday. He invited Emily and Sarah to a Korean BBQ dinner.
Throughout the meal, every time someone made a toast, Sarah would say things like,