I met Alex a few months ago, and we clicked in so many ways. We shared interests, laughed easily, and enjoyed each other’s company. However, Alex has a severe nut allergy. As a vegetarian, nuts are a significant part of my diet—not just for nutrition, but because I genuinely love them. From almond butter to cashews, they’re staples for me.
Early on, Alex was clear about the risks. Even trace amounts of nuts could be life-threatening. I completely understood and respected that. But the situation escalated. Before we’d meet, he’d ask me to avoid nuts for at least 72 hours. He wanted me to confirm each morning and evening that I hadn’t eaten any. If I had a nut-based snack on a Tuesday and we had plans for Friday, I was expected to cancel our date. “We can’t kiss or touch,” he’d remind me.
I understood the severity of his allergy, but soon it felt like I was being controlled over something essential to my lifestyle. It was overwhelming. I realized that this arrangement wasn’t sustainable. It wasn’t fair to either of us to force a relationship that felt fundamentally incompatible, so I made the tough decision to break up with him.
That’s when everything unraveled. Alex accused me of being heartless and selfish, claiming I was ableist for not adapting my lifestyle to accommodate his needs. He made me feel guilty for valuing my love for nuts over our relationship.
I did care about him, but I knew I shouldn’t have to sacrifice something so integral to my life, especially after such a short time together. Now, I’m second-guessing my choice. My friends are divided: some think I should just give up nuts for him, while others agree that we weren’t truly compatible.
In the end, I just want to feel at peace with my decision.