I (21F) went to my local grocery store the other day to get 1-2 items and then go home. As I’m grabbing said items (they were on different aisles), I see a man (45-55) following me quite closely. You might say, “Oh, maybe it’s just a weird coincidence? He wanted something on that aisle.” No. He didn’t pick up or LOOK at anything, didn’t even have a cart. (A little more context: I was wearing a dress. Not ridiculously short, but it was short because it’s 90 degrees outside.)
Anyway, I got uncomfortable and just went to check out. I didn’t see the man until I was almost to my car. He walks up and tries to start making awkward small talk. How old I am, the fact that my license plate is from a different state than the one I was in, where I was coming from, if I have a boyfriend. I told him I wasn’t interested and asked him to please leave me alone. He didn’t, and got closer to me. I have a very big thing about people boxing me into small spaces (trauma), so I said, quite loudly, “Please back away from me. I don’t like this.” He laughed and basically said, “Aww, she’s upset, what a sweetheart,” and is now 3 inches away from me. So, I panicked and slammed the palm of my hand into his nose, which broke it. He started screaming at me, but I was having a panic attack and just got into my car and left. I told some friends about it, and some say I’m the asshole because I could have just ducked away, and some say that’s a completely normal response for someone who has trauma.
But here’s where it gets weird:
The next day, I received a call from the police. They said the man I had hit had reported the incident, and they needed me to come to the station to give a statement. I was sick with worry, but I knew I had to do it.
At the police station, I told the whole story, including the trauma I experienced from being boxed into small spaces. The police officer seemed sympathetic, but he said I could still be charged with assault.
I was terrified. I didn’t want a criminal record or to go to jail. I called my lawyer, and he said I might have a case for self-defense, but it would depend on the judge.
A few weeks later, I had to go to court. The man I had hit was also there, with a cast on his nose. He still looked like he was in a lot of pain, and I felt terrible, but I still believed I had done what was necessary to protect myself.
The judge listened to both sides of the story. He asked me about my trauma and how I felt when the man approached me. I explained that I had been very scared and felt like I had no choice but to defend myself.
After hearing all the evidence, the judge gave his verdict. He said that he believed I had acted in self-defense and that I was not guilty.
I was incredibly relieved. I couldn’t believe I had gotten away with it. I hugged my lawyer and thanked him for all his help.
As I was leaving the courthouse, the man I had hit was waiting for me outside. I was nervous to see him, but he wasn’t angry. Instead, he apologized.
He said he hadn’t realized how much he had scared me. He said he had only been trying to make conversation and didn’t mean to harm me. He admitted that he had been in the wrong and deserved to have his nose broken.
I was surprised by his apology. I never expected him to be so understanding. I accepted his apology, and we shook hands.
I never saw the man again after that day. But I never forgot the lesson I learned. I learned that it’s important to stand up for yourself, even if it means hurting someone. And I learned that sometimes, the people we think are our enemies can turn out to be the kindest.