I’m a quiet guy and genuinely friendly. I treats all my coworkers as friends. About, 2 months ago, during a work lunch, one of my coworker started choking so i did the Heimlich thing to help her, after she’s in the clear the others cheered i asked if she alright, she just nodded and head to the bathroom without a word so i didn’t think much about that.
Until, two days later i got called in to HR for my “inappropriate” behavior, i was confused and ask for more details. That’s when they told me that my coworker had filed a complaint stating that she felt my touchs when i was helping her was inappropriate, my body was too close and she “felt” my “private” touching her. I gave my statement and they put me on ice (i was still working with potential to be removed) while they investigate further. After a week i was in the clear. I return to working normally without fear, but i started distancing myself from the coworker, she tried to apologize which i accepted and tried to explained that she has to tell me that she has trauma but i still take precautions and only treat her as just colleague. I’m no longer talk to her unless needed to, always keeping distance, no longer inviting her out unless there’re others. She could feel my hesitant toward her and how nolonger treat her the same as others, she tried to say that i’m being ridiculous and petty but i told her that i’m just looking after myself.
So am i the ah?
Ps. Sorry about my English if there’re errors, it’s my third language.
Edit: Wow, this blew up. I’m not very active here but i have read several comments and dms (sorry i can’t read all) thanks for everyone support. I won’t make updates, but i have some clarifications. I’m not from or at any English speaking countries. Me and the coworker did have a talk (with our colleagues nearby) and she agreed to just limited to necessary contacts that related to works. I won’t sue her cause everything is resolved and to be honest it would just be bring more problems while wasting money. I also received several dms about people with similar experiences as me, which made me sad and relief that i’m not the only one. And i also saw comments about how i’m not considering and don’t understand her trauma, which is fair, if you’re harassed for real then you should protect yourself, but i just hoped she came to me about her uncomfortableness since we’ve known each other for couple years.
That’s it, again, thank you.
The Unexpected Twist: After things settled down and I talked to a few closer colleagues about the incident, one of them, who had been at the company longer, shared a small detail. They mentioned that this coworker, who filed the complaint, has had a… complicated history with workplace relationships. Not in a harassing way, but more that she tends to form close bonds, then misunderstand intentions, and react strongly when things don’t go the way she anticipated. Apparently, she’s had close friendships with other male colleagues in the past, and when those relationships didn’t progress beyond platonic or became awkward, she would feel hurt or ‘betrayed’ in some way. Her complaint, even if it was handled under the umbrella of ‘inappropriate,’ might not have been solely about my physical action during the Heimlich, but her misinterpretation or over-analysis of that sudden physical intimacy within the context of her pattern of over-interpreting interactions with male colleagues.
AITAH for treating my coworker differently after she accused me of SA when I saved her life, leading to her feeling alienated, when her actions might not have been purely a reaction to trauma but part of a more complex behavioral pattern involving misinterpreting or over-analyzing workplace relationships?